


Good Meal For The Day

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22956475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: Something's weird about Papyrus. Something, or someone, is making him unusually...relaxed.
Relationships: Papyrus & Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Good Meal For The Day

"hey, you gonna eat that?"

"NO, IT'S ON YOUR PLATE!"

"aight. just checkin'."

The not-really-disputed french fry was repatriated to its owner's mouth. One might have imagined the hustle and bustle of the restaurant might have drowned out the soliloquy now resumed. But then One might not have experienced Papyrus.

"...SO THEN THE PENULTIMATE CORNER WAS A DOOZY, ESPECIALLY AFTER I'D TIGHTENED UP MY BRAKES LAST WEEK, BUT THE FINAL TURN IS ALWAYS HAZARDOUS TO TAKE AT HIGH SPEED. AT LEAST, HAZARDOUS FOR ANYONE BUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS. I FIDDLED WITH THE HANDBRAKE TO GET SOME EXTRA TORQUE, AND I CLEARED IT WITHOUT LOSING CONTROL, AND GOT MY BEST TIME! THREE POINT SEVEN SECONDS FASTER! I LOVE HAVING A PLACE WHERE I CAN SAFELY TEST MY CAR'S LIMITS LIKE THAT."

"that's so cool, bro," said Sans. "pity i missed it."

"YES, YOUR NEED FOR A NAP IN THE STANDS WAS UNFORTUNATE. BUT NO MATTER! PLENTY OF REST IS HEALTHY!"

A second and third fry halted briefly on its way to a frozen grin. Then they were quickly eaten.

"SO SANS, HAVE YOU RECONSIDERED JOINING ME FOR MY UPCOMING HOLIDAY?"

"i considered reconsidering it, but reconsidered that idea."

"ALAS! WELL I HOPE YOU ENJOY HOWEVER YOU SPEND THAT TIME. REGARDLESS, I LOOK FORWARD TO EXPERIENCING AN IMPORTANT SLICE OF HUMAN HISTORY."

Sans shrugged. "eh. looks like a bunch of rocks. we got those right here."

"WELL YES. BUT THESE ROCKS ARE THE RUINS OF GORDION, THE SITE OF THE MOST FAMOUS HUMAN PUZZLE OF ALL TIME!"

"oh yeah. didn't a human solve that one by cheating?"

"BY THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX, SANS! INNOVATION MUST BE LAUDED WHEREVER ONE FINDS IT!"

"even under the sofa?"

"ESPECIALLY UNDER THE SOFA!"

Sans dropped several gold coins on the table. "then i guess i'm being innovative with how i'm paying for this."

Papyrus tapped his temple in agreement. "THAT'S THE SPIRIT, BROTHER!"

"neat. hey, could you pass me that?"

"...YOUR OWN FORK?"

"yup."

"SURE, HERE YOU GO!"

He picked up the fork and reached it in front of Sans. Sans didn't take it, however. His face looked more rigid than usual, like he was deep in thought.

"SANS? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"...yup. thanks, bro." He plunged his mighty weapon into the heart of his intractable foe. "so you'll be goin' on a plane to this place?"

"OF COURSE. WALKING WOULD TAKE TOO LONG."

"so if you get to the airport an' something's wrong you're gonna have to... _WING_ it?"

The silence was deafening. For two seconds.

"PFFT-!" Too late did Papyrus try to cover his mouth. "PFYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! BECAUSE 'WINGING' SOMETHING IS SLANG FOR IMPROVISING YOUR ACTIONS AND A PART OF AN AIRPLANE! THAT'S VERY CLEVER, SANS!"

One skeleton kept chuckling. The other was so still One might have thought he was a mere prop. One missed the fact Sans was scratching his armpit.

"hey bro... are _YOU_ okay?"

"OKAY? OF COURSE I AM. WHY?"

"dunno. you just seem kinda... _too_ okay."

Worry flexed across Papyrus' mandible. "HOW CAN ONE BE TOO OKAY? HAVE I OVERDOSED ON CONTENTMENT? SHOULD I CONSULT DOCTOR DRAKE?"

"nah. you just seem... less stiff. chill, even."

Papyrus drummed his gloved fingers on the table. "WELL, NOW YOU MENTION IT, I'VE BEEN FEELING PARTICULARLY PERKY IN THE MORNING THIS PAST WEEK. PERHAPS I'VE JUST PERFECTED THE SCHEDULE OF RISING!"

"oh, cool." Sans' rigid posture relaxed. "i'd hate something to go wrong. i'd really _MORN_ ya." Papyrus chuckled again. "if you don't mind my poking, what do you get up to?"

"OH, WELL, I AWAKEN AT SIX THIRTY, AND DO TWELVE POINT FIVE MINUTES OF STRETCHES AND ASSORTED EXERCISES. THEN I AWAY TO THE BATHROOM TO BRUSH MY TEETH AND WASH MY SKULL, LISTENING TO THE AUDIOBOOK OF _THE EXTENDED ADVENTURES OF FLUFFY BUNNY_ ON MY PHONE ALL THE WHILE. THIS COMPLETE, I ALLOW MYSELF TEN MINUTES TO DECIDE ON WHAT I SHALL WEAR TODAY, DONNING MY FRESHLY LAUNDERED BATTLE BODY. I THEN SPEND TWENTY MINUTES WATCHING METTATON'S BREAKFAST SHOW BEFORE SITTING DOWN AT THE TABLE TO A DELICIOUS BREAKFAST OF MY OWN. AND AFTER SUCH A DELIGHTFUL MEAL, I FEEL READY TO TAKE ON THE CHALLENGES OF THE WORLD!"

Sans nodded at the conscientious routine he'd never have followed in a thousand resets. "sounds like you've got it down to a science. way to go."

"THANK YOU, SANS. IN FACT... YES, IT'S AFTER I EAT BREAKFAST I FEEL MOST EXCITED ABOUT THE DAY. A SMALL CHERRY UPON THE NICE CREAM SUNDAE OF RESPONSIBLE WAKING HABITS! NO WONDER MY STRESS LEVELS ARE NONEXISTANT."

Sans winked at him. "i'm so proud of ya, bro."

"OF COURSE YOU ARE. AND WORRY NOT, I SHALLN'T FORCE THIS ON YOU, EVERYONE MUST LIVE THEIR LIVES THEIR OWN WAY." Sans found it hard to process this lassez-faire attitude. "NOW THANK YOU FOR BUYING LUNCH, SANS, BUT I NEED TO VISIT THE TRAVEL AGENTS TO CONFIRM MY FLIGHT TIMES."

"didn't you do that yesterday?"

"YES, BUT THEY MIGHT HAVE CHANGED."

"hmm, good point. later."

With that, Papyrus got to his feet and let his cape elegantly flow behind him as he strode from the restaurant. Sans stayed where he was, once again retreating into thought. He didn't remain alone for long, and soon was face to face with an interminably happy panting tongue.

"Arf!"

"yeah, lessy, pap's in a good mood lately."

"Woof woof!"

"i know, right? even breakfast."

"Bark?"

"yeah yeah, most important meal, blah blah. something's odd though."

"Arf?"

"such a busy schedule, including when to eat breakfast. where's the time to _MAKE_ it?"

* * *

_Coming up to their street. Check I've still got it. Yep, there it is. Into the bushes, just in case. Oh, there's Doggo, glad I didn't run into him. Little further back, let the flowers mask me. Hate using them, but it works. There he goes. Back on my way. Undyne's lights are on. Must be marathoning an anime. Cross the street after this lamp, make sure I'm not seen. Into the bushes again, Jerry will be driving past. Yep, there he is. God, that music stinks._

_There's the house. Lights are out, good. Hand to ear, just in case. Nothing. Totally silent. Perfect. Up to front door. Locked, of course. Look under rock with "NO KEY UNDER HERE". Hmm, no key. That's unexpected. Not to worry. Round the back and over the fence. Up to the toolshed. Locked, of course. Control panel asking for password. Type in Co0lSk3let0n95isb35t. Beep, unlocked. Tiptoe past large canvas-covered machine, look through drawers. Ignore photograph, will ask another time. There it is. Get key. Head to back of house. There we go, I'm in._

_Completely dark and totally silent. Good. Tiptoe to kitchen. Retrieve bowl from cupboard. Pour oatmeal into bowl, add milk. Hold bowl and heat it up. Remember that trick to keep it warm. Smells nice, kinda hungry myself, but this isn't for me. There we go, looks ready. Just gotta adjust the eggs. All the dinosaur faces pointing up, just as he likes it. Get sugar, sprinkle lightly over it. Looks good. Now just need to get back outside, return the key and head home-_

_Click._ "heya."

Sans sat on the sofa. Or rather lay on it, eyeing the intruder carefully as his hand lowered from a lamp next to him. The intruder's emerald eyes widened in shock, having realised the lack of Sans' snores should have been a warning, but the rest of his face hardened in defiance, a demonstration of no fear which all but confirmed that fear existed.

"Heya, Sans," said Asriel.

"what, no howdy?" He scratched his nose socket. "nah, i guess this ain't a howdy moment."

"Yeah, probably not." He absently scratched a horn.

"...been feelin' guilty again lately?"

Asriel's defenses crumbled. "...yeah."

"tryin' to make it up to him?"

"Yeah. This isn't nearly enough, but..."

"aight, cool. say hi to your mom for me."

Asriel now looked confused, shaking his head. "You're not mad?"

"kid, you probably know better than I do what it takes for me to get mad."

"...I do."

"that said, i'd hate it if your mother started worrying about you sneaking out like this. figure she wouldn't give two bowls of oatmeal about why you're doin' it. moms are like that."

Asriel looked at his fuzzy feet. "You're probably right. But this way was easier than talking to Papyrus about it. Sometimes I'm not in the mood for 'I FORGIVE YOU, YOU CAN BE BETTER' for the fiftieth time."

"fair, cap. though i'd throw him a _BONE_ now and then an' listen. i reckon he stops you drifting too far. did wonders for me."

"Did it?" Asriel scratched the back of his head. "How?"

"long story. anyways, thanks for the free oatmeal. keep your family in the loop, and hope you feel better soon."

Asriel's muzzle twisted one way or another, before settling on a smile. "Thanks, Sans."

"enn pea, bucko. say hi to your dad for me too."

"Why my dad?"

"'s the neighbourly thing to do."

Without waiting for Asriel to move, Sans turned off the lamp again, leaving the house in darkness. It took Asriel a few moments to adjust to the gloom and slip out the back door and returning the key to the shed. By the time he had climbed back over the fence, the low rumble of Sans' snores reached his floppy ears.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
